Josephine Laurence

Whoo, talk about exhausting.. I haven’t been a west end party girl for quite a while and the past 7 days have certainly made up for that…. I mean, I’ve always gone out, but haven’t done back to back nights for quite a while, and I tell you what… the older you get the harder it becomes!!

So it all started at Swanky Sundays… theme = the future. Outfits = see below

Very messy night… I always find that with fancy dress parties… is it because you get so excited about dressing up that you get carried away and having one more than you usually would…???

 Anyway, the madness continued into the week, with Crystal on Wednesday night followed by Cuckoo club on Thursday….

 Chilled out on friday because I was gonna fucking die from tiredness!! I tell you what, it is bloody hard work…. getting ready, going out, being entertaining all night… you probably think I am acting ungrateful or spoilt, but honestly, you wanna give it a go…. plus I was working every day too…. whilst I’m thinking about it, I did this job… just a modelling one, dressing up as a police woman… a bit random, but wasn’t too bad… we all have to pay the rent after all… so anyway, I turned up with my friend Jacqui A (see picture above)… shortly afterwards we got sacked… I couldn’t beleive it!! I’ve never been sacked from anything in my whole life… the woman who we were working for was basically completely mad… it was like she was from the planet Zog… anyway, aparently, me and Jacqui had been sleeping on a sofa instead of working, which by the way is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard, considering I hadn’t been near a bloody sofa all god damn day… and this was enough to get sacked… I partly blame Jac (sorry babe)… basically, she had been feeling rather ill, so dragged me off to get chips to make herself feel better… we got caught… then binned… never mind… as I said the lady we were working for was nuts anyway… it did anger me though… quite alot… Now I’m not one for blowing my top, in fact I am probably the most laid back and placid person you’ll meet, but on this occasion, after being accused of something that I actually hadn’t done, I lost my rag at the crazy little woman… I felt bad afterwards about shouting at her, but she really pushed my buttons…

Anyway, after a well earned rest on Friday, it was time to hit the party seen again on Saturday… Now I have a very good friend who goes by the name of Dax…. Now Dax is a lovely guy and we always like to help a brother out, he is a club promoter and we tend to swan on down to quite a few of his nights. On Saturday he decided that it was gonna be yet another theme night… now, I love dressing up as do the rest of the ponies, so the prospect of a theme night is always exciting and a chance to go all out… The thing was, the theme was Trailer Trash Girls and Country Bumpkin Boys…. Now considering most of the ponies are from the suberbs of London, we are quite accostomed to Chavs and their dress code… so not wanting to disappoint, we went all out….

The only trouble is… we were the only ones who did…that’s right… we turned up at a night club on the busist night of the week… dressed as trailer trash… and we were the only ones… In fact I’m not even convinced yet that it wan’t a wind up… the looks we got were needless to say, priceless… In fact at one point 2 of the ponies popped outside for a cig, and as they were trying to get back into the club too nasty girls actually said “seriously, you’re not going to let them into the club dressed like that and not us?” can you beleive that!!

Regardless, it’s been a fab, but knakering 7 days… I need too sleep it off now…. x

So my life has been a bit of a whirl wind the past 7 days or so….

Last Monday I did a photo shoot for the front cover of 100% Biker magazine with one of my dad’s bikes…. for those of you that don’t know, and most of you probably don’t, my dad builds old, classic, British bikes such as Norton’s and Vincents…. and to be fair is probably one of the best bike builders in the world…. sorry had a bit of a proud moment there… anyway…. one of my Dad’s bike’s has just won an award for the best Cafe Racer in Europe or something, so loads of Bike magazines want to shoot the bike etc…. so the random thing wasn’t actually doing the shoot, I’m used to that, it was prancing around, in my underwear, doing the typical Benny Hill type poses on the bike… with my Dad watching… can’t help but feel it may have been a bit wrong??? LoL So that was last Monday….

Didn’t really have that many plans for the rest of the week, so was just pottering around doing the odd silly job to tide me over and then suddenly I’m on a private jet, going to Mallorca with 2 of the show ponies, Jacqui and Liz where I have been all weekend and I’ve just got back…. again random…

Liz and Jac’s on the Private Jet!!!!!

Too top it all off, whilst it was snowing in the UK, it was very hot in Spain, which to be fair I didn’t really bank on, so there I was, sitting in the sun, having a lovely lunch on the beach (feel free to be jealous whenever you want! ha ha), not realizing just how strong the sun was…. when I got back to the hotel to take a shower…. low and behold, I had burnt, in a clear line across the whole of my chest and down both of my arms, whilst the rest of me remains completely white!! This my friends is not a good look I can tell you… random sun tan behaviour is not big or clever and now I have to walk around like a dick head with this tan until it eventually decides to go!!

Liz, me and Jackie…. Me looking quite red, (see neck line for details)… and a little bit drunk… whilst Liz had just finished being a Rock Star in the Kareoke Bar!!

Oooooo… just got motion sickness then as well whilst typing…. that doesn’t feel good…. in fact, may have to go lay down till it subsides…..

The thing is…. many people seem to think that I am a suffer of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

I simply think that the rest of the world must just be messy… just because I wash up after myself, don’t leave clothes laying all over the floor and like all my coat hangers facing the same way and my clothes arranged in order of colour, does not mean I’m obsessive… It just makes good sense people…. and it’s called being an ADULT!!!! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Anyway, this week I have learnt that Canary Wharf in London is apparently the windest place in not just Britain but in the whole of EUROPE!! I have been spending alot of time there recently and can confirm that this in indeed true. I have been battered and beaten by the wind and at one point learnt what it feels like to fly (not fun for all those people that have ever wondered), when I was walking towards the tube station, got hit by a gust of wind from behind, and launched into the air like a little rag doll…. not funny…. although if you was a spectator, I can imagine it probably was….

I have also learnt that some people in life are unfairly luckier than others…. why is it that you can work your backside off trying to make things happen, whilst others simply aren’t trying, and seem to get everything you want?? Is this just a case of bad karma or just a case of the injustice that we call life??

This week I have also been moving apartments… this I have also learnt is not a fun game… no wonder people hire professionals to do the job!!

I love FRIENDS and as I’m writing this it’s on the TV… why is it that no matter how many times you watch it, it’s still funny and you never get bored… Also, even though I have the entire series, you every so often stumble across an episode that you have never seen before…. Do the FRIENDS making people hide these epiosdes somewhere and release them every so often just to keep us on our toes?? Hmmmmmm